Tool: Overcome discomfort
You might be concerned that asking open questions could create uncomfortable situations such as silence or emotional conversations.
These strategies will support you to work through these concerns.
When silence makes you uncomfortable...
Strategy: Stretch your capacity to stay
Silence is often an indication that you asked a great question, so give the other person time to answer it before filling the space. People need time to think and they may appreciate the time you give them to do that. This may feel uncomfortable at first, but you will get used to it.
When you do not know where the conversation is going...
Strategy: Be willing to be surprised
When you ask a question that you really do not know the answer to, you may end up with completely new information, new thoughts and ideas.
If you like a lot of certainty, or are used to being in control of a conversation, then this may be uncomfortable. Understand that you probably do not know everything there is to know about a situation. The other person's answers may surprise you and this may lead to important, relevant aspects of a situation that you had no idea about.
When emotions show up and you do not know what to do...
Strategy: Remember that emotions are normal
If you have asked a great question, it might move someone or have them tap into an emotional experience. This can be quite powerful – and useful - for them. Please do not avoid these questions or run away from the situation.
Stretch yourself and learn to stay present when others experience emotions. Let those emotions be part of the conversation. It is just the limbic system needing to have a say. They are just emotions, they will not hurt you and you do not have to fix them.