Tool: Managing your meetings

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Set the meeting tone and eliminate some disruptive emotions by planning ahead.

• Use the Feel Know Do model to prepare. What is the desired outcome of the meeting? What information needs to be shared to get that outcome and how will you create an appropriate emotional state?
• Consider how you could add some lightness.
• Provide the agenda ahead of time to set accurate expectations for everyone.
• Let people know how to prepare for the meeting, especially if you want them to contribute something specific.
• Plan the areas of focus and plan questions that will open up those discussions.
• Limit surprises: think about who might be triggered by the meeting content. Consider talking to them ahead of time so they can be ready for the discussion.

If everyone creates agreements together, they are easier to implement.

• At the start of a meeting, create agreements about how everyone will participate. Recall the metacommunication tips about how to create these.
• Make a plan for managing questions and potentially distracting topics. e.g. have a place to capture them and decide how and when they will be addressed.
• Set expectations and create as much certainty as possible: what is this meeting about, how long is it, how should people participate?
• Create lightness and levity if possible, even around heavy topics. Positivity makes it easier for the brain to pay attention, be solution-oriented and to contribute.

Support wellbeing so people have the PFC capacity to manage their own emotional reactions.

• Influence where possible to prioritise brain care with breaks and healthy snacks that will keep the PFC engaged and energised, especially for very long meetings.
• Consider 45 (rather than 60) minute meetings to give people time to think between meetings.
• Increase rewards - create a sense of belonging, e.g., "We're in this together!" and look at possibilities for other Be SAFE & Certain rewards.
• De-personalise mistakes and problems rather than blaming an individual.
• Keep practising ABC. Your sense of calm will be contagious and you will be better able to manage any surprises or disruptions.

Despite your best made plans, emotions will arise. This is normal and to be expected but they can derail a meeting. Here are ways to address them in the moment:

• Refer back to agreements and readjust if needed.
• Take five or ten minutes to have a group rant to blow off steam, then agree no more complaints: from here we focus on possibilities. Be strict with this timing.
• Pay attention to the mood in the group. Attend to triggered limbic systems (rather than let them fester and spread): slow down, take a breath, ask what people need. Make new agreements as needed.
• Reduce threats to Be SAFE & Certain elements. Don't put up with insults, blame, hostility or other unhelpful behaviours. Engage everyone in watching out for these.
• Give feedback instead of blaming.