Tool: Overcome blocks
Understanding what an open question looks like is one thing. Being able to ask them in the moment is another.
There are many reasons we get concerned about asking questions - sometimes they create uncertainty or other threats. For example, empowering someone else on your team to answer their own questions rather than advising them may threaten your sense of status within the team.
To become masterful, you need to be able to overcome these blocks when they arise.
When you find yourself waiting to ask your next question...
Strategy: ABC or other mindful techniques
It is common to want to ask that burning question. But it stops you from listening and you might actually miss the answer to the question you want to ask, or you might realise your question is irrelevant.
Use ABC or other mindful techniques to set your question aside and be present. Listen fully, then find your question. It is OK to have a moment of silence before you ask your question.
When you notice that you keep refining your question with other questions...
Strategy: One question at a time
Many people have a tendency to clarify a question with another question. Ask one question and then stop - let go of your need to do it 'right'. Let the other person ask for clarification if they do not understand.
When you want to get someone to the 'right' answer...
Strategy: Do not lead the witness
If there is only one right answer to a question, do not try to manipulate someone to that answer by asking leading questions - just tell them the right answer. If you have a favourite answer to the question, you can either work on letting it go, or offer your suggestion and get back into a collaborative conversation by then asking them how your idea sounds to them or what other ideas it inspires for them.
When the conversation seems to go around in circles...
Strategy: Try on someone else's mindset
When conversations go over and over the same ground, it's likely that they are stuck in a mindset or fixed way of viewing the world.
To break this pattern, new thinking will be essential. A great way to do that is to try and imagine how someone else would approach this situation. Consider a friend, colleague, mentor, superstar, sibling, etc.
Then ask, “How do you think XX would approach this situation?” Or, “How do you think XX would advise you about this?”